Ruffies, Mind Erasers, Poor Man’s Quaalude, Forget Pill, and Circles...What the Heck Are These Drugs

The names confuse me, but the result of them on my body is a memory I will live with forever! If anyone ever mentions one of these drugs… run for the hills!

While taking country dance lessons in my 20’s, I met quite a few interesting individuals. Our class consisted of singles and couples who were interested in learning a few dance steps. The method used for learning how to dance involved switching partners for every song. That way we were able to learn how to dance with partners of varying heights and dance styles.

At the end of my second week of classes, I was given a list of telephone numbers of each class member so we could make arrangements to dance together if we ever needed a partner. I never intended to use this phone list because I was comfortable going to dance locations with one of my best friends, Julie. We figured we’d run into a classmate or two, since there weren’t very many country dance bars in our city.

Julie and I loved going to the local saloon about 20 minutes from home, every Wednesday night for class. It was always fun to have a dance partner from class to dance with because we were all, basically, beginners.

One weekend, after our classes were completed, Julie and I decided to try a new dance location. When we arrived, we were greeted by a few guys we knew from class. The camaraderie we felt with these guys made it seem like we were all one big family… dancing the night away.

Since I enjoyed drinking Long Island ice teas, I ordered one. After finishing it, I mentioned to the bartender that it didn’t taste very strong. THAT was the WRONG thing to say… so I found out later!

Almost immediately after tasting the second drink (my limit was two) I started to feel weird. My body was weak and I had a difficult time walking. I don’t remember how soon after sipping the second tea these feelings it hit me, but I do remember one of the guys from my dance class asking me if I needed a ride home. I must have told him I did because the next thing I remember is throwing-up in my bathroom.

I don’t recall telling this man where I lived, yet somehow I made it home. I also don’t remember how long he was in my apartment with me or when he left. It was as if I had no memory of anything that happened after he asked me if I needed a ride… absolutely nothing!

Once I was able to comprehend what had entailed the night before, I started to feel the physical effects of what happened after he drove me home. Apparently, he had violated my body because I had pain in my private area. To my horror I realized this guy had raped me! Feelings of shame, for having two Long Island Ice Teas and not being able to drive myself home, caused me to blame myself.

Since I still had the country dance members phone list I called this man. I knew he was a recovering alcoholic so I was bewildered and confused as to why this man would rape me. He obviously knew I was intoxicated (or so I thought) and he had taken advantage of me without my consent!

When he answered the phone, I explained who I was and asked him what had taken place the previous night. He proceeded to tell me that I was really drunk and he offered me a ride home. He told me I’d directed him to my home and invited him in. This is NOT something I would normally do, so that was a red flag.

Next, he told me we had sex… consensual sex. Oh my GOD! NO WAY!! I would NEVER consent to having sex with this guy, or anyone else for that matter! He continued to tell me more about the sexual encounter. What he recounted made me sick to my stomach. There is absolutely no way I would have done what he told me I did… it was sickening!

Upon hearing this information it reinforced the fact, in my head, that I was responsible for this situation. I started to beat myself up… why did I get drunk? I only had two drinks? I usually have two drinks and I’m fine. Why did I tell the bartender the first drink was weak? I NEVER should have said anything! I can’t believe this happened to me!

Ashamed and embarrassed I told myself I was NEVER going to drink again… and I didn’t, until many years later. Meanwhile, not knowing what to do because this rape was my fault, I lived with this guilt and shame for at least a month before I started to notice something was not feeling right with my body.

Luckily, I had good health insurance so I went to see my doctor. Mustering up the courage to tell her about this rape she tested me for STDs. I told her everything I could recall and the information the guy had told me. Thank goodness I opened up because SHE was the one who told me about the date rape drugs. She explained that these drugs cause one to feel weak and “blackout”... incapacitated... unable to make informed decisions or give consent, therefore making it easy for a rape to occur.

Once I heard this information, I was pissed!! Here I was, blaming myself for having two drinks, and not realizing this guy, and possibly the bartender, had drugged me!! Not only was I drugged and raped, but the guy gave me an STI!!

Armed with my VOICE,,, I went back to the bar to confront this guy! He never knew what hit him. I found him on the same dance floor where he’d given me the drug and I let him have it. At the top of my voice, I told him he’d drugged and raped me... and given me an STI! Of course, he denied putting anything into my drink and raping me! Once again, he told me it was consensual… YUCK!

When I was done confronting him, I left the bar and never went back. Luckily, our dance classes had already ended so I didn’t have to see him again.

~Back when this happened, date rape drugs were new on the market and not well-known to the general public. Rape was not something people thought about reporting, unless it was a violent rape. Unfortunately, many women, like me, thought it was their fault. Luckily, times have changed and women are empowered to report rape~

~Also, I was lucky to have caught this STI in time because it was able to be healed. If I would have waited much longer, I may not have been able to have children~

Blessings Embraced

• Going through a situation like this gives one the courage to help others

• Speak-up even if you feel you are in the wrong.

Affirmation: I am strong and speak-up for myself.